WALKING THE TALK: GETTING MY SON EVALUATED

Hilda posted this on

My mommy-hood journey was never easy. I went in to pre-term labor three times. When Julian was born I was unresponsive for several hours. When we came home, he was colicky and cried constantly. Eventually he was diagnosed with a milk allergy and reflux.

A few months ago, when we finally thought things were getting better, he started vomiting excessively. We got him tested and it turns out he is not only allergic to milk; he is also allergic to soy and wheat. Great!

Regardless of all the allergies and all the other little health issues throughout, we’ve dealt with everything without worrying too much. For some reason we haven’t been fazed by any of it.  However, amidst all the issues, one stood out.

My baby boy was not speaking.

Julian is now 21 months old. He says a total of eight words.  By two years old or 24 months, children should say at least 25 words. I hear stories from my mommy friends about their children’s rich vocabulary:

“My son says ‘ninosour.’”

“Laila sings along to songs on the radio.”

“My daughter says ‘jet.’”

“Alberto said ‘I love you’ for the first time.”

I usually just stay quiet during this part of the conversation. Smiling and nodding. And although I’m happy for them, I can’t help but question myself.

I’ve been asking myself: Do I expect too much from Julian? Or am I not pushing him enough? Am I not speaking to him enough? Am I confusing him by speaking to him in English and Spanish? Maybe I shouldn’t have skipped reading time some of those nights.

I’ve been worrying about this for several months now, which is too long. The weird thing is that professionally, I know it’s too long. But personally, the truth is that I’ve been allowing doubt and passive parenting get the best of me. I’ve let myself question whether or not I’m overthinking the situation.

But yesterday all that changed. I officially embarked on a scary and somewhat unknown journey.

I began the process of getting my son evaluated.

I know it’s strange that it took me this long to start. When parents call our resources line or family members ask about evaluating their children, I never hesitate when telling them to just do it.

“It’s better to know than to wonder,” I say.

And I can feel their resistance on the other end of the phone. Now I know what they feel like.

What kind of advocate would I be for my son if I continue to let self-doubt take over when it comes to my own child?

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Questions are bombarding my thoughts and I am filled with anxiety.

But I am thankful that such knowledgeable people surround me here at RCSN. I know I wont embark on this journey alone, and I look forward to sharing my own process along the way.

– Hilda