I have a moment to share about anger, bullying and power… of a 4. 5 year old. I’ve known this family for 3 months. I began working with them because their 4 year old son was having high emotions and anger during the school day, he was hitting other children, and his teachers were upset, had no answers, and cared a tremendous amount about this young boy I’ll call Jack* which is not his real name.

His awesome Mom shared this story of his playground time.  At age 5 something happens, children begin teasing more, comparing themselves, and being “mean” to each other in a very personal way. Bullying also happens. This is a huge subject, I have a lot to say on this matter, but this blog is super focused on this young boys experience. And now for the story…..

Mom, younger sister and Jack are enjoying a day in the park, they are at a new playground, everyone is excited. During activity, a young girl began calling the young boy all different kinds of “baby,” she may have been several months older, not more. She began relentlessly teasing him. He went and told his Mom, she brainstormed with him to ignore her, keep on playing, walk away and some other ideas, he tried all of them, he came back and tried to keep playing. What Mom witnessed next is amazing for this child, but also as an inspiration for all human beings.

She came back to tease him, he said nothing, but let his anger come up and looked at her in a powerful and angry way.
You know what happened? GUESS!!!

She ran away crying. He had used no words, said nothing. He let his anger come up and didn’t get physical, or even any closer to her. He stood his ground and became his powerful self.  AMAZING!!!!

Why am I so inspired by this? This young man and his family have been working on acceptance of ALL feelings, there is not one feeling that is “good” or “bad” they are all healthy. Hitting is not ok when angry, but being angry is ok. Throwing a glass cup is not ok when frustrated, but frustration is ok.

This young man now has an experience of how powerful his anger is. No one got hurt, no one got disciplined, he just let this little girl know, he wants her to stop and he is not messing around. This experience lives in his body forever, and this little girl knows to not mess with him ever  (at least this is what I believe.)

I have met, witnessed and experienced myself, resisting certain feelings.  Feeling our feelings is a BIG mission, there is a ton of research on why people don’t feel certain feelings. Have you ever heard yourself saying anything similar to these phrases?

  • Stop crying
  • Use your words
  • Don’t be angry, just share
  • Why aren’t you happy?
  • Don’t get frustrated, just use your words

Words dissipate feelings. Words create comfort, some situations are beyond words. Words make the feelings go away.  When feelings get repressed, it affects the physiological body. What you resist persists. Nothing has to change, the challenge I offer:

Tune in and become aware of when a feeling is felt in your body. What is your next action? Do you shoo away the feeling, do you eat? Do you start to blame or talk about others? Do you get a headache? Start to track what happens when an “uncomfortable” feeling arises… You will be surprised.

Thank you from my heart for reading this, ALL of your comments and feedback are welcome here,

ShaneangryBboy

Your Beautiful Child LLC:

It’s a good question… Is it “good” to cry in front of your child?

Originally posted on My Life in Yellow:

He broke my heart that day.

Not once did I let the smile leave my lips,
determined to be stronger than I really am.

I think he did it because he needed to see me cry,
He needed to know that I could feel something.

I do wonder if it would have ended differently
I asked him not to walk away,
If I admitted that somehow he figured out
a way to reach me, and reminded me how
to fall in love.

View original

joyJoy a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

What brought you joy before having your child? Several parents I work with have difficulty with this question. “It’s hard to remember,” and “sleeping,” were the most popular answers. I see parents being run down, overwhelmed and turning to outside pleasers to feel good. Food, shopping and having a glass of wine. While I know these activities are socially acceptable ways of relaxing and having fun… they do not feed the soul, which means they are short  lived joy.

Waiting behind two Moms in a discount store.  It was close to the time to go pick up their children from school.  It was a medium sized line, and they were “high” on the bargains they had found. As the line got closer to their turn, they began taking turns to go get one more thing, run away and come back with a new score. Along with the time crunch of paying and having enough time to get their kids.  I felt the energy rising. At one point, the woman who was on the line, began grabbing things nearby looking at them, tossing them in her wagon, then taking them out, leaving some… Then she grabbed some chocolate covered almonds and went at it. The friend came back and they both began eating their eatable find until it was their turn. WHEW!

I knew these feelings, I know these feelings, and I am aware of the compulsive shopping and food challenges. There are many false feelings of fulfillment, joy, excitement, deserving,

“Outer joy is more like excitement, involving a quick flash of pleasure. It stems from either thrill or some animated feeling.” –WWW.PRAJNAYOGA.NET  This is an exact description of the ladies in from of me. The truth is, I can see this outter joy, because I spend many years only knowing of this joy.

Inner joy suggests contentment, contentment that is more refined than the quick pulse of pleasure.

What are the benefits of this inner joy?  Pshhht! Many! Here are a few:

  • Improving heart health, less risk of heart disease
  • Better overall health, (both in individuals and communities, to include families)
  • Positive thoughts flow
  • Emotional vitality: a sense of enthusiasm, hopefulness,

Are any of these a priority for you?   There is no Dr., no shooting, no amazing bottle of wine that will help you attain this inner joy. Here are a couple of practical and easy ways, to insert joy into your day. Tricking the body into joy is REAL, and it has actual impact on the brain.

  • Start laughing, even if it feels weird
  • Look in the mirror and smile
  • Look in the mirror and make absolutely wacky faces (your kids or anyones kids will love it.)

Laura Kubzansky  “State of mind = State of body”

What awareness does this blog bring you? Do you resonate with it? Have you witnessed it? Are you that shopper?  Know this. You are not alone! I think we all have felt these shopping highs, purchasing impulsively or compulsively. We do live in an age where you can text someone hello, just as easy as you can buy airline tickets on our smartphones.. I hope your biggest take-away is awareness. Nothing has to change, nothing has to be done different, just an awareness of the activities we engage in. Your state of you mind correlates to the state of your body. 

Respectfully,

Shane

 

Who you surround yourself with makes a difference. Who your child calls his/her friends and who they admire matters.  I see a lot of children who have BIG emotions, (mostly labeled anger.) Some of the important answers to know is, who is your child friends with?

 Each morning I teach students who are incarcerated. The classes have have recently changed up the students in class.   I see how certain peers bring out he worst in certain peers. I see the same peers shining when in class with other students. There is a huge difference in behavior when the “right” students are together. 

angry teen girl

angryBboyChildren are sensitive to energy and seek power. If your child has been showing signs of anger at home, know this. It’s critical they hang out with the “right” kids. The angry kids at school usually get the most attention and that can be impressive to a child who seeks out ways to feel “big.”  I hear many Mothers worried about the impact this has on their children. If your child is displaying new behaviors that has you believing they are picking the wrong friends to hang out with and you worry about their future, know that you are not alone. Many children are dealing with copying the “bad influence” kids at school  While worrying is something that feels real and valid. It’s a waste of energy. Actions are the only thing that will help this worrisome situation.

If your child does any of these behaviors at home, it’s time to step in…

  • They come home using a fake voice that you KNOW is something they heard
  • They are aggressive to their sibling or a pet
  • They don’t look at you in the eyes when getting loud
  • They suddenly begin throwing items when they are frustrated
  • They look at you in the eyes and say “I don’t care”
  • You hear them curse

If any of these behaviors start suddenly, do not ignore it. This is the exact time get real and know that this is a call for help.  It usually does not just disappear, and it’s a pivotal point where you child can receive the love and support from you – the kind that lasts forever.

What to do next: Set up a meeting with their teacher and find out: whats really going on. Children are highly impressionable and follow the big energy, it can be something simple or these behaviors can be a sign of something bigger. Either way, it’s not the time to blame the school, other children or your child.

If this feels like something major, seek support for yourself from an education or therapist professional is a wise move.  Take notes, when exactly does your child “act-out, ” what is happening exactly before.  Being able to witness your child without judging if the are right or wrong, will help you stay neutral, instead of restoring to yelling, punishing, and basically acting exactly as they are.

Ideally, if there is a problem going on at school. you would like your child to come to you with any stories. If your child does come to you, it’s critical, to JUST LISTEN and ASK QUESTIONS. These are the times your child will learn problem solving. Be aware that you need to DO nothing, but listen and ask questions. This is how children receive support, by you giving them the space to share and come up with their own answers. This empowers them, giving advice only makes them feel right or wrong. Imagine you tell them what to do, then they don’t do it, (or can’t do it) then they come home feeling like they disappointed you.

Being a mindful and conscious parent is not easy. You love your children with all your heart. LOVE THEM ENOUGH TO TRUST THEM.

It’s not easy to

If you had a magic wand what would you want? For yourself? For you family? For your loved ones? What would you create so you could have total peace of mind? Would you work? What job/career would you have? What would your ideal day look like? Who would you surround yourself with? Where would you live? What people would you surround yourself with? Have you met them yet?

WOW in’t that a lot to wonder? They say be specific, well yes there are times to be specific. Let’s be specific and broad here.

What two words would you like to infuse in 2015? Into ALL of the above?

Have a healthy start to 2015.
With much LOVE,

2015

For the longest time, 8 years, my kitchen faucets temperatures were reversed. I asked my Superintendent  to fix this, but it didn’t happen, and I understood it wasn’t a major priority. So I adjusted. I knew this was the deal in my kitchen, there were some water burns along the way, and when I approached my sink, I had to physically and mindfully stop and think, “Ok this is supposed to be cold but it’s hot” and then turn the water on. Eventually I completely adjusted. It didn’t affect how I approached any other sink anywhere else in my apartment or elsewhere, just in the kitchen.

Recently I had a leak and the super not only fixed the leak, but also corrected the hot and cold knobs. I am now newly adjusting to this updated version of hot and cold. It’s not easy and once again I must slow down, physically and mindfully and only then can I turn the water on. Several scalding hot experiences later, I must  use this sink at an even slower pace.

Why am I sharing this? I asked myself; “what can I learn from this sink ordeal?”  Along with slowing down to do a task. I realized how getting into a known routine feels safe and comfortable. I adjusted to WHAT DOESN’T WORK. One perspective is: I can find the correctness in any situation, the other perspective is: Why do I have to adjust to what doesn’t work?

08-kitchen-faucetsI think and work on and with families on radically relating to each other. How much of our relationships within our families DON’T WORK, but we adjust and work around it, ignoring the issue or challenge. How many feelings and priorities are burned along the way? Why as a society is it the norm to act as-if all is good, when it’s not?

I see and know the difficulties lie in the idea of being uncomfortable. I myself like to be comfortable. Getting the family to open up and change (getting my faucets fixed) will bring some awkwardness, some strange silences, but most of all it will bring up FEELINGS. Why are feelings avoided? We disagree, we have the same conversations over and over, nothing changes. It’s easier this way, it’s easier to adjust, but it’s not healthy and it doesn’t promote growth.

Here are some ways to integrate change or growth to radically relate to family…

  • Give compliments – offer them in a nice tone of voice, don’t expect anything in return
  • Offer help – even if it’s turned down, the offer matters
  • Do what you don’t want to do –  when a “chore” or activity pops up with family, and it’s exactly what you DON’T want to do, do it. Breathe and get through it
  • Let there be awkward silences – if a family member constantly has negative comments, let them have them, no response is warranted. Being defensiveness never feels good
  • Create limits and boundaries – Your actions will be more powerful, talking about limits and boundaries can be passive aggressive, or received as ultimatums. Not everyone is ready to make changes
  • Receive – Being able to receive anything in a heartfelt way – Be aware when family members are “giving” you something, if you can find a way to receive it without judgment, it can create a moment of peace and appretiation

I wish you all the power to DO YOUR BEST, with your family this holiday season!

Happy NEW YEAR!
Shane B. Kulman, MS SpEd

How One Mother Learned to Find Balance and Joy (NY Metro Parents Magazine).

by Tiffany Caldwell October 16, 2014

One mother of a daughter with autism was going through a lot of changes in life when she found something that seemed empowering, new, and different. Her story, as told to Kaitlin Ahern, shows how a day of joy helped her release negative feelings and embrace the power of self-care.

watercolor woman

My daughter is 7½ years old, and she has autism. She was diagnosed a little over 3 years ago, and caring for and raising her is still a learning process for me. About six months ago, I was told she wasn’t progressing in school. The process of finding her a new school where she could thrive was stressful—it was like a weight, a burden on my shoulders. I live in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, and at about the same time I was having problems with my landlord and saw my rent increase dramatically, so I decided to give up my home.

I was going through a lot of changes in my life at that time, and I was open to something that seemed empowering, new, and different. So when I heard about the A Day of Joy workshop in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, I thought I’d give it a try. The workshop was presented by Shane Kulman, M.S. SpEd, founder of Your Beautiful Child, whom I had met at an Autism Chalk Festival in Prospect Park earlier this year (she is a beam of light!). Shane is a special education therapist and family coach, and the A Day of Joy workshop was meant to empower parents and caregivers of children with special needs, as well as the professionals who work with them, with a sense of self-care, self-love, and a feeling of community.

I woke up the morning of the workshop optimistic and excited to see what it was all about. When I got there, I found a small, intimate group of parents and professionals and noticed the positive vibes. We did some meditation, breathing exercises, and journaling, and we had open conversations. I felt like I really connected with people who I had met for the first time that day.

Afterward, I felt lighter, like I had just released a lot of the negative emotions we all experience—doubt, fear, uncertainty. And I left feeling like a new person with a different view on life. Since then, I’ve had good days and bad days, but I keep telling myself that in due time, everything is going to be alright, and that I just have to stay focused. I keep revisiting that day, and it puts a smile on my face.

I continue to try to find a balance between caring for my daughter and caring for myself. When she was first diagnosed, I was a total wreck and completely overwhelmed. Even sitting down for a few minutes during the day to take a breather made me feel guilty. I’ve learned over time that it’s not a crime to take time for yourself, because you need it—I need time to recharge so I’m able to take care of my daughter to the best of my ability. I know that if my child senses that I’m stressed out, sad, or overwhelmed, those feelings project onto her. Still, it’s hard to find that balance and beat down the guilt and doubt that rise up when I do something for myself. I try to keep in mind that I’m just human, I’m only one person, and as long as I put my best foot forward, that’s all I can do. I know I need to care for myself so I can be around to care for my daughter in the long run.

I’m still learning every day, from workshops and seminars and especially from the amazing people I’ve met along this journey with my daughter. As the parent of a child with special needs, it’s easy to feel lost, alone, afraid, and overwhelmed. That’s why it’s very important to reach out to others. You need people in your life who can relate to what you’re going through, and who can help you along the way. Everyone needs a support system and someone to talk to. It can be a lonely and challenging world, so it’s important to stay connected and know that there’s always someone out there to guide you and give you advice. I feel that the more people you’re connected to, the better off you are, because no one can do it alone. And like the saying goes, “it takes a village.”

Tiffany Caldwell is a Brooklyn mom, a mental health therapy aide, and a passionate advocate for her daughter, who has autism, and for the special needs community at large. She enjoys spending time with her daughter in the plentiful green spaces throughout Brooklyn and watching her child’s imagination blossom through art.

Healing Your Relationship With Autism – A Unique Perspective

Autism - Meryl Vandana Brinin and Autistic son JulianHas your child or someone you know been diagnosed as having a learning disability, as having OCD, ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia or Autism?

In this reality these amazing beings are labeled and limited and are judged as having a Dis-Ability but what if the way these beings function from is really more of a Super-Ability? What if they are not disabled at all but rather highly ABLE and we are the disabled ones?

My wish in writing this article is to demystify what Autism is and remove all obstacles and illusions of separation we have been taught in this reality that these beings are anything other than miraculous and awe inspiring so we can come together from this space of oneness.

What if it was far easier to communicate with total ease with these kids and adults who happen to be a lot more conscious than we give them credit for?

What if by following our knowing and trusting our awareness without judgement, we can reduce any stress or frustration we may be experiencing and have more ease relating to our friends, family members, and loved ones living on the Autistic Spectrum?

What if individuals living on the spectrum were naturally functioning from a much higher level of telepathy and knowing as well as vibrating from a much faster and higher frequency than we ever imagined possible?

Autistic children pick up every thought, feeling and emotion within a thousand miles. They are intuitively logical and logically intuitive. If you can alter your communication you will see that they are lightening fast and continuously responding to your thoughts.

By Using and applying RICH Clearings, you can unlock the doors to a more loving and peaceful relationship with your loved ones and mostly get out of your own way by unlocking their special gifts, talents and magical abilities that you were never told about when you first received the “diagnosis” of Austism, ADD, OCD, or PDD.

I have been offering healing sessions both in-person and over the phone to reach people all over the globe in honor of you the caregiver and wayshower of these highly gifted & higher inter-dimensional beings who are our greatest teachers! I gently & compassionately assist my clients to bring up any old resistance, judgments, limitations, illusions, lies, stories, programs & unconsciousness around what we bought as true about Autism and blast them all out of this existence by releasing and clearing them away as if by magic. Many families have been greatly helped to live from peace instead of stress in their daily lives even after just one session.

Once we bring up these old energies that have been causing pain and suffering, we can let them go so we have more space to function from total awareness to create a more expansive and peaceful reality for ourselves and everyone on this planet and beyond. We can then return the drama trauma that this reality sells you in all the way back to the infinite wisdom of our loving universe. Miracles can then
occur for all of us as we are all one.

What I’ve learned along the way is the only “cure” for Autism or any other different way of functioning in this reality is to operate from a place of pure and unconditional Love. Here is a letter I wrote to my own son who is now 21 when I attended a conference in NYC about Autism for Parents & Caregivers which changed all of my points of view so I can be fully present in all of my interactions with my greatest teacher who chose me as the perfect personal navigation system for this reality.

Dear Julian,

You have taught me the true meaning of Love,
You have given me intense joy, my most important
mission in life, & a genuine sense of purpose
You have taught me patience, to never give up on you
No matter what & to truly believe in your life
And future potential
Yes we struggled
No, it wasn’t easy
Yes, you were so worth it
I believe in you and what you can accomplish
Even when others didn’t
Even when you ran away
Even when you acted out
I always knew you loved me
You were just in pain-so was I
And we both couldn’t show it
You didn’t know how to reach me
I didn’t know how to reach you
But somehow we found a way
We found each other
There was never anything wrong with you
There was never a time that you
were abnormal or crazy
There is everything Right about you
You’ve taught me that it’s ok to be different
To be unique and a bit quirky
I’ve learned to accept and honor you along the way
To love all the funny and frustrating things
that make you so precious
You’ve taught me not to worry about
What other people think or say
I’ve forgiven those individuals some from my own family
Who didn’t honor or understand you
Who judged you
And I’ve most of all forgiven you and me

Love,
Mom

Here is a lovely testimonial from a very grateful Mom raising her daughter with Aspergers.

“Thank you Meryl for the explanation of Rainbow, Indigo & Crystal kids. I would love to guide my daughter toward healing, although the 1st session when she was younger was with the wrong person.I think she feels spooked by it now, thinks she put evil into her which I have dispelled but nonetheless my session was so profound with you, I could not get up for a few days, a real awakening! Still feeling it as well. Need to slow any new energy, have been working with too many modalities lately.Also, my shoulders were completely pain free for 4 days while I was at home ( had not felt that for years and several attempts by other healers). I think typing on computer all day and stress are not agreement with them. Still need to write to my daughter as well, will start putting thoughts together today (listen to your letter again for inspiration)” -Anonymous

If you or someone you love is struggling with understanding Autism and would like to heal your relationship with the diagnosis as well as with your family members, receive all the healing you need by listening to our live archived tele-class on Autism by clicking here. Its only $25 and the MP3 includes emotional clearings, creations and a customized Healing Activation.

RICH Blessings,
Meryl Vandana Brinin
Co-Creator of RICH Healing

To learn more about Vandana, her healing sessions, and to view her upcoming in-person and tele-classes, visit her website at http://vandanarichhealing.com/.

meet your teacherYou love your child. They go to school. You hope for the best. The teacher wants to talk to you after school or it’s open school night. All these feelings of defensiveness, shame, fear and lack of knowing may come up. What’s next?

Showing up to hear about your own child can be tough, especially if they have challenges. Having been a classroom teacher, I’ve witnessed a lot of parents showing up to a parent teacher meeting with all different kinds of emotions, some subtle, some very up front and center. If you’ve gotten to this point in reading. EXCELLENT. You are open. Hopefully teachers come from a place of compassion, regardless the more you are prepared the better you will feel.  Here are 5 tips for the next time you have a meeting with your child’s teacher:

  1. Set your intention (what do you want to get/receive or accomplish at the meeting. Be specific, be clear)
  2. Breathe, take 5 deep breaths into your belly, place both feet on the ground, affirm your intention
  3. Show up with your questions written down, write the answers down as well
  4. Bring support if you can (it can be a good friend)
  5. Ask what specifically you can do for “carry-over” at home to support what your child needs help with

I have heard of many situations where the teacher is rude, doesn’t care, and and no way near compassionate. For this I’m sorry. I understand how upsetting this can be. My offering here are: be firm and friendly, with the teacher and or the principal/director if you need to. Using anger or getting frustrated and fighting, does not benefit your child, and limits time of your needs being heard.

I wish you many informative meetings,

Shane

Note from Shane: HERE is the reason I’m so fricken passionate about working with Parents. You matter SO Much. Brenda Rothman puts it into words from a Mom’s point of view. Find her on Facebook MAMA BE GOOD

Adult Responses to Autistic Children Leads to Escalation or Calm

An adult’s response to an autistic child’s upset is the single, most important factor in whether the child’s upset is escalated or calmed. We must remain calm. We must understand – at a gut level – that the child’s reaction – whether to yell, hit, bite, or flail – is frustration and that is all. “Disorientation is one of the least bearable of all psychological experiences” (Neufeld & Maté). Our children are disoriented by their emotions, frustrated by communication. It is not personal. It is not hate. It is merely frustration.

When we begin to feel overwhelming emotions in response to our children’s actions – like sadness, upset, anger, fear, or resentment – we need to calm ourselves for the immediate moment. However you need to do that – by breathing, talking to yourself, repeating a mantra. For the long-term, you will need to do the hard work of exploring those feelings and the reasons behind them.

Our physical response is just as important. Because this is frustration, respond with calm and soothing. Our children are not trying to hurt us. If they see us reacting in disorienting ways – like crouching, putting up our hands as if to ward off hits, or crying – it will frighten them even further. Trying to control our child’s behaviors through physical restraint also escalates the situation. Imagine how you would feel as a child if you were already disoriented and your parent’s actions looked even scarier. Instead, we should calm, soothe. Remember that we are our child’s compass.

Know in advance what soothes your child. Physical things like running water, a fan, their bedroom, low light, a tent, blanket, a stuffed animal. But also, let them stomp, stamp, slam doors, hit pillows, throw stuffed animals – there are many safe outlets for frustration. And they do need outlets. We can’t just clamp down on them and negate all outlets for them. Imagine if you couldn’t vent – you’d feel like exploding.

One thing that I have to do regularly is keep everyone safe. And sometimes I say that – remember Neufeld’s agent (or angel) of futility and agent of compassion we talked about?  I say “I’m so sorry, but I have to keep everyone safe. I know it’s upsetting, but that’s my job as a parent. And you know, parents have to do their jobs. Sorry, that’s just what I have to do.” And I keep everyone safe, as keeping hands off each other. Without any type of punishment like ignoring, or separating, or high emotions, or anything. Just sigh, sorry, this is what I have to do.

The other thing I do regularly is playful parenting to stop the actions but in a very playful manner so it doesn’t escalate. Like very lightly saying “oh, ho, ho, mister, are you teasing your sister? Do you want some love taps, too?” or “I saw you do that, you wiley coyote, you.” If you haven’t read the books Playful Parenting and Hold On To Your Kids, I highly recommend both for ideas of discipline that are not punishing or isolating. 

After they’ve vented their frustration, you can try getting their sadness out. That’s the real emotion underneath frustration – because something isn’t working and that’s upsetting. After our children have experienced a big emotion, they often need a safe way out. Silliness is one way. “That stuffed toy smells terrible! Did he toot?” We often have to just try different ways of helping.

This fact that the adult escalates or de-escalates the child’s response is critically important. We have to realize how we are a compass to our children. We also need to hold the adults in our children’s lives accountable for their reactions and how those reactions escalate our children’s reactions. Teachers, therapists, behaviorists – do they put their hands on your child, even to direct them? Do they give your child ways to vent? When the child gets frustrated, are they forced to sit back at a table and do a task or are they given recovery time? Are they labeling your child violent instead of frustrated? Are they restraining, ignoring, secluding, punishing your child?  Are they demanding too many things?  Are they requiring quiet hands, quiet feet, quiet body?  Are they spending directing and redirecting all the time? Are they blaming the child instead of acknowledging their own role in the escalation?

Our children react to being forced. They react when there is too much direction and too little connection. They react with frustration when the relationship isn’t working. They react with their own will as they try out independence. When our child is not treated as her own person, with her own preferences, thoughts, opinions, and boundaries, she will put up resistance. This is a healthy part of growing up.

If the therapy our child does sets us up for conflict, no matter how beneficial we are told it is, we need to refuse it. If we are told our child is “violent” simply because he reacts to force with negative emotion, we need to reject that. We parents have the right to demand peaceful, loving, connecting ways to raise our children.

– See more at: http://mamabegood.blogspot.com/2013/09/adult-responses-to-autistic-children.html#sthash.lM1U1sUr.dpuf

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