So here I am, a month of blog skipped. This has been flirting around my head and making me feel like I’m going to “get in trouble.” I was in Israel for 3 weeks and expected to be totally inspired. I had forced myself to write, and after reading it, I realized forcing myself to do this didn’t work. Well, it didn’t happen and I made that good ol’ mistake of expecting…
At some point this week I realized, IT’S OK!” I forgave myself and realized if I wasn’t going to write something of quality why just throw it out there?!?!
SO this brought me to this thought….. Parents feeling guilty for not doing -something right with their child, special needs and neuro-typical. I hear many parents asking, “did I do that wrong?” or “I know I messed up, I should have…” I see their body language turn to mush and really begin to beat themselves up for major and simple every day issues such as:
- not getting their child evaluated early enough
- not saying “no” to their child
- ignoring the signs of a problem
- not doing enough vaccination research
- “giving in” to a child’s demands
- sharing a bed with their child
- using the TV to occupy their child
- not breastfeeding
- having a cocktail during pregnancy
- canceling a playdate
- letting their child eat too many cookies
- _______(add your own)____________________
I’m sure if you are reading this, a-you are guilty of being guilty or know people who feel this way and b- you are open to LETTING GO. I am here to let you know IT’S OK! It’s all ok, if you are a loving, caring generous parent, you can do no wrong. No one is judging you and your child already forgave you, so why the hangup? Forgive yourself, and move on. Of course this school of thought pertains to ALL except for addicts who are not seeking help.
There is no point and no growth from feeling guilty or regretting. Once you consciously recognize how and when this happens you can use tools to change your mind, mindfully, and be able to let go and move on. The stress that comes from these feelings will reek havoc on your spirit and your physical body.
This is YOUR journey! Be confident that what you do for yourself and your child are your choices specifically based on what feels right for you, (and hopefully your partner.) Trust your instincts, and also remember you are human! Don’t make excuses for yourself, admit you might have done things differently, and don’t do it again. Recognize your own trigger behaviors and put a screeching halt to your repeat behavior. Here are some easy ways to move on:
- Use a journal to write these regrets and guilty feelings down works in great ways. Get the feelings out of your body using a pen.
- Repeat a mantra in your head every time your brain puts you under attack. You can even say it outloud (and proud!)
- Hug and kiss your child and tell them “I love you, even when I make a mistake.” Use your own similar words
- Add your own….
As human beings we are in a constant fight to be in control. Well start with controlling your mind! How exciting is that!
Enjoy the weather that is coming our way, you get a chance to start over every new moment…