Archives for the month of: April, 2013

“He doesn’t listen.” I heard this statement from another teacher to a parent upon dismissal. It’s rung in my head from 10 years ago, when I began teaching. I’ve had many parents tell me, their child’s teacher has reported “he/she doesn’t listen.” You know what?! I find that those same parents don’t listen either.

What’s up with the apple tree?

Do you forget people’s names as soon as they introduce themselves? Why does this happen to certain people and not others.

People including children have different listening styles,  this is why I feel school testing is not a fair assessment of what a child comprehends.  As a parent, it’s important to know your child’s learning style, so you can assist in their learning, or have a conversation with his/her teacher.

What can be done if you are speaking and someone is not listening? What if you are a different kind of learner, and cannot focus on what someone is saying when they are speaking to you?

I was giving a talk to educators, and I saw one woman in the back using her cell phone and completely not listening, I decided to focus on the specific question she asked me to address “a child who would not listen to her.   I spoke about exactly what she was doing,  being pre-occupied with something that was not happening in the present moment.   She did not tune in to me once about how to problem solve this issue.

Another time I was speaking to my friend, I saw a gaze come over his eyes, I told him, “I see your not listening to me right now.” We laughed. The sad part of this whole topic is, some people do not even realize when someone is not listening to them. EVEN crazier is to see two people talking to each other and neither is listening. The best thing to do when dreading having a conversation with someone, is to set your intention to: show up and just listen to them. See what happens…

Alot of LISTENING comes down to self worth, and feeling enough.  Many people,  feel they have to do a lot of talking to prove themselves, to be heard (by everyone.) When in fact there is so much power in silence.

There are so many disorders for children who don’t listen: auditory processing disorder, poor attending skills, dysfunctional listening, easily distractible, receptive language disorder, etc.  Why is this so common?

Next time you are in a place where you can watch people having conversations, observe them, see their body language, and apply what you observe and learn to yourself. How can you be a better listener?  How can you really tune in to what someone is saying to you without over talking or interrupting. Are you fully present when your child is sharing something with you? Do you look at him/her in the eyes and give them your full self?

listening

Using good listening skills will turn the children in our lives into quality listeners, whatever their learning style is.

Happy listening!

Great Article I found!  This is written with my sentiments exactly;) Enjoy and check out Kate Stone

 

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Dear New Student:

I want you to like yoga. I do. And I want your body to like you, too. But with class sizes exploding, there are a few things you should know going into your practice. Trust me, your wallet, your family, and your body will thank me in the long run. Probably also the short run.

If you’re new, be new.
Six classes do not make you experienced, used to yoga or a “yogi.” If the teacher says, “for advanced students,” 98 percent of the time it will never mean you, even if you’ve been practicing for years. “For advanced students” means, “if this pose feels easy, you are steady and you can do more while also breathing, then you may move on to this other crazy thing.” So, 98 percent of the time you will not do the crazy thing. Do not confuse that with weakness.

Yoga is not for everyone.
You might feel like this is a life-changing, orgasmic epiphany—that this bendy-Zen-ness must be good for all people everywhere, but it’s not. Stop trying to convert everyone you know. Yeah, I know, they might love it and it might be crazy super awesome for their herniated discs or whatever, but just stop.Yoga is not a religion, it is not a cult, and all that is good about it gets diluted exponentially with armchair evangelists.

If it hurts, stop.
Are there poses that are uncomfortable, bordering on pain? Yes. Get to know the differences between tiredness in your muscles, stretch in your ligaments and pure, straight pain in your body. Pain is a sign that tells your brain your body is in danger. Listen to it.

If nothing in #3 made any sense to you, you are not ready for a class with 40 people in it.
Try one with three people. One where you can ask questions about pain.

Figure out why you’re doing this.
Why are you going to class? Why are you pushing to the next pose? Why is it important to you to breathe heavily and move your body and step your foot forward? You may not have answers but asking these questions helps you figure out how you move around in space. Having a “why” also keeps you in the room when your brain goes, “Boooorrring.”

Yoga is personal.
Asana is particular to the person experiencing the poses at this specific point in time and space. The man with his head on the floor and the woman with her head on her knee are at their individual max.Stop comparing your limits to theirs. You cannot possibly know how anything feels to anyone else. Just because they look like they’re further along doesn’t mean it doesn’t feel just as difficult in their respective bodies.

If you want to win, go to CrossFit.
There are no Yoga Olympics. There is no “good, better, best,” or PRs at yoga. You might stick a handstand one day and then really suck at it later that same day. An important part of practicing yoga is being present in the moment, no matter what’s happening. And another important part is embracing impermanence. No matter how awful or how awesome, that handstand isn’t going to last and it isn’t going to win you any points.

Looks are deceiving.
Yoga was not designed to make 20-something white girls be as skinny as possible. Do not forget this. Never forget this.

You don’t need to buy anything. 
Beyond the class, that is…you can’t just run into a studio like a Zen vigilante. Studios are businesses, after all. But with that comes all the other commercial interests businesses hold, like retail options and marketing ploys. The capitalist side of yoga makes a lot of money from teacher trainings in particular and they do not care about you quite as much as you think. Don’t be sad, just don’t start teacher training after practicing yoga for only a couple of months. Please.

Breathe at your own pace.
For years, I hated Upward-Facing Dog. I would inhale to Up Dog and then the teacher would start talking and we would stay there and I would sway like a suspension bridge and continue to inhale, inhale, inhale…and then finally push back to Down Dog in a great huff of exhalation.

1It wasn’t until I started an Ashtanga practice that I realized you are, in fact, allowed to breathe like a normal human even if your pace doesn’t match the cues. This also proves the point that there are four billion* types of asana practice, and you can only benefit from trying more than one. It may prove just how gullible I was as a teenager too, but you, hopefully are just new to yoga, not to life.

*Pure exaggeration, not a factual number.

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About 

Kate Stone started taking yoga in middle school as a rebellious move against sports camp. After years of gymnastics, not having to flip over after a backbend was a relief, and the practice stuck. After college, Kate moved to Chicago to teach mean children how to read. She was marginally successful but felt severely, physically ill-equipped to deal with the fighting in her classroom. As someone who takes things literally, she became a personal trainer. Kate spent eight years in Chicago working in gyms, bars and museums, feeling like she was supposed to have a real job. Last year she realized she doesn’t ever want one of those. Kate spent all of her money on yoga training, and is now a yoga teacher, writer and bartender living in Boston.

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