“He doesn’t listen.” I heard this statement from another teacher to a parent upon dismissal. It’s rung in my head from 10 years ago, when I began teaching. I’ve had many parents tell me, their child’s teacher has reported “he/she doesn’t listen.” You know what?! I find that those same parents don’t listen either.
What’s up with the apple tree?
Do you forget people’s names as soon as they introduce themselves? Why does this happen to certain people and not others.
People including children have different listening styles, this is why I feel school testing is not a fair assessment of what a child comprehends. As a parent, it’s important to know your child’s learning style, so you can assist in their learning, or have a conversation with his/her teacher.
What can be done if you are speaking and someone is not listening? What if you are a different kind of learner, and cannot focus on what someone is saying when they are speaking to you?
I was giving a talk to educators, and I saw one woman in the back using her cell phone and completely not listening, I decided to focus on the specific question she asked me to address “a child who would not listen to her. I spoke about exactly what she was doing, being pre-occupied with something that was not happening in the present moment. She did not tune in to me once about how to problem solve this issue.
Another time I was speaking to my friend, I saw a gaze come over his eyes, I told him, “I see your not listening to me right now.” We laughed. The sad part of this whole topic is, some people do not even realize when someone is not listening to them. EVEN crazier is to see two people talking to each other and neither is listening. The best thing to do when dreading having a conversation with someone, is to set your intention to: show up and just listen to them. See what happens…
Alot of LISTENING comes down to self worth, and feeling enough. Many people, feel they have to do a lot of talking to prove themselves, to be heard (by everyone.) When in fact there is so much power in silence.
There are so many disorders for children who don’t listen: auditory processing disorder, poor attending skills, dysfunctional listening, easily distractible, receptive language disorder, etc. Why is this so common?
Next time you are in a place where you can watch people having conversations, observe them, see their body language, and apply what you observe and learn to yourself. How can you be a better listener? How can you really tune in to what someone is saying to you without over talking or interrupting. Are you fully present when your child is sharing something with you? Do you look at him/her in the eyes and give them your full self?
Using good listening skills will turn the children in our lives into quality listeners, whatever their learning style is.