Archives for the month of: February, 2016

WOW. I love that we think alike;) I will not use this title again… AND I honor your work tremendously. Thank you…

confident parents confident kids

We want to learn more from you about your parenting.

The following survey will only take a few minutes. It asks some simple questions about how you parent and how that might be similar or different from the way you were raised by your parents. Please help us advance our understanding about this critical area.

Click here to answer a couple of questions and help us learn from you!

Roger Weissberg PortraitThis survey is one initiative in a partnership between Confident Parents, Confident Kids’ Author Jennifer Miller and Roger Weissberg, Chief Learning Officer of the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Shannon illustration 001Emotional Learning (CASEL) at the University of Illinois at Chicago and Shannon Wanless, Assistant Professor of Applied Developmental Psychology at the University of Pittsburgh to learn more about parenting practices Illustration of Jennifer Millerand social and emotional learning.

For more information from our partnership:

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Everyone needs help. Yes I said everyone. Do you get stuck cleaning when your child is really needing you? Do you avoid confrontation with your partner and instead make sure the kitchen is perfect? What is this about? Why do so many women take energy out and avoid what’s really going on with cleaning?

I’ve heard and seen this enough times to really ask? What’s with the obsession of cleaning? To be clear, I am not suggesting to have a dirty mess. But what is under the concept of going to bed with an immaculate home? Especially when it will be a mess again the next day. SO this blog is about cleaning, but really my question is – when does cleaning become an activity that helps you to stay numb, or to not actually deal with where attention is really needed.

It’s amazing when I work with a Mom who says, “I know I avoid disciplining, by cleaning, but I just can’t stop, it’s what my Mother did with me.” It beautiful when we can see our own self-serving patterns. If they are patterns that don’t really work, after the awareness and ownership of the pattern, the next step would be to take an action and do something that is REALLY uncomfortable. Perhaps leave the dishes in the sink OR get a cleaning service once or twice a month!

powoh7n0g01k4qq    So let’s think once that is taken care of, and only maintenance has to happen, the next problem that may arise is, dealing with the issues that you were avoiding with the cleaning.

What were you avoiding? Some parents avoid; communication, children’s responsibilities, a partner that is not being responsible, or it may actually be an unwinding period (which would be amazing) and easy to replace something that feeds your soul instead.

Does anyone relate to this? I would love to hear your comments on why you clean to perfection or why you never get your house cleaned to perfection. Not only would I love to hear, but many other parents would love to feel comforted that they are not alone.

All comments welcome,

Love,

Shane

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