Physically and metaphorically. Inspired to write this with a moment that happened in the gym locker room the other day. I was in the middle of changing and I was naked. A little girl, about 4 or 5, looked at me in the eyes and smiled, or maybe I smiled first. Her Mom pulled her along strongly and appeared to be working to keep her eyes away from me. This sent me into a query of how many kids see their parents naked? Then I began thinking deeper, how many kids see their parents emotionally transparent?
I thought about my own childhood, where I don’t recall seeing any feelings, and remembering my feelings were “too much” and didn’t know what to do with them, and how hard it was for me as a child, and also as an adult who had to re-find what it’s like to actually have (big) feelings.
My intention for this email is an invitation to be curious about your own family. How did you grow up in the context of nudity at home, as well as sharing and seeing, and feeling your “nude” feelings?
I am constantly learning myself, and don’t have biological children of my own. I do spend time with my friends kids, and I get self-conscious with my getting dressed and undressed with them around (especially in the Summer, with changing of bathing suits etc.) If my friend (their Mom) is not into the Goddess lifestyle where we love and enJOY our bodies, I contract and don’t always know “what’s right” around them, this includes with my physical body as well as my emotions. How much do I share? What angle do I share from?
All this second guessing, and no wanting to offend or be judged as “______ kind of woman.” This thinking sends me into a tailspin. The question I am left with is:
Do I follow my own freedom and intuition, or do I give in to what I assess as limited actions?
Does anyone resonate? I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject…..
Love,
Shane
Hey Shane… pulling a late night to get something out in the morning… just took a break to read your blog… Here are my thoughts…Put the child first… you’ll know what’s best in the moment IF you: Make it about the kid. Not about you. Not about the mom. Make it About the kid. Not you’re inner kid. Not your comfort. Not the mother’s. The actual child; vulnerable and standing right in front of you in the moment. Take care of them, make them feel safe, seen, heard, loved, cared for… and all your second guessing will fall away to an intuitively obvious “appropriate behavior”; appropriate to the moment, to their well being; emotional, physical and psychological … Kinda like improv, if you set the intention and let the scene play out truthfully, stick to your objective of taking care of the kid, the moments will add up without you having to plan them out… you’ll know… trust that you’ll know… be present… the kid will feel your energy and intentions, more than your actions… And your actions will be guided BY your intention and energy.. if you give over to nervousness or fear, YOU’RE DONE… in which case then best to play it “safe”, i.e. modest and conservative…i.e. “by the book”. And, that said, remember and trust that you’re one moment with this kid is way less consequential than their live’s with their parents… the kid’s gonna have whatever karma the parents attract in… which ironically is you showing up in that moment…. so on some level even if you do everything “all wrong” it’s the kid’s karma that you’re the “weird, inappropriate friend” that their parent hangs out with… Still you can do better than that and strive to be the graceful exception… And that again is by you surrendering to being an instrument of Grace in the child’s life, tuning into making them feel safe and loved and honored and respected. If you can do that, you’re golden and so are they… My humble thoughts… Namastexo ____________________ Erin Flowers erinflowers@yahoo.com
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